It happens every time a season or a size changes. I pull all my clothes out to decide what to store, what to donate, and what I can actually wear. And I promptly decide that either I need to lose some weight, get rid of some clothes, figure out what actually looks good on me—or all three.
I’m fashion-challenged. And I know it. Which is why I rely on my husband to tell me what looks okay.
But when he’s not home to ask, I try on multiple outfits before I finally settle on something I feel good in.
Which is why “The Tiny Twig’s” “No Brainer Wardrobe Manifesto” sounded so appealing. My friend Trina raved on and on about how it totally changed her wardrobe. (And peeps, Trina’s outfits were positively adorable, and totally made that hat.) But I assured her that nothing could help me. Not even sitting next to Hayley—a.k.a. The Tiny Twig—at breakfast. And a glance at the “capsule wardrobe” didn’t help—I knew that not a single item in it was “me.”
(You have to understand that my fashionable friends compliment me thus: “I love that you’re so you.”)
But I’ve been dumping out my drawers again lately, trying to find something to wear. And on a day when I should have been doing a lot of other things (mostly: laundry), I turned again to The Tiny Twig’s “31 Days to a No Brainer Wardrobe,” trying to read it with a more open mind.
I realized that even though her “look” wasn’t me, maybe I could learn something about her approach to a wardrobe. The first take-away I caught was making a Pinterest board with favorite looks in order to define your style.
See, that’s the problem: I have a hard time knowing what my style is. My sister and sisters-in-law always look so cute. But they aren’t me. And their style isn’t mine. Thus whenever I bring home something from GoodWill that I think would make me look cute like them, it’s rarely my husband’s favorite.
(And of course, sometimes I just plain muddle my looks all together. Like when I donned a hooded Carhartt sweatshirt instead of a scarf, in a last-minute effort to match my husband’s sweatshirt as we walked out the door together. The hat along with it—to cover a bad hair day—must have been a bit too much. A local businessman called my husband’s attention to “the unique combination of clothes you don’t usually see around here” and my husband said, “It’s probably my wife.” Ahem. It was.)
So I went to my Pinterest account to find the sad collection of 9 pins in my board entitled “closet.” And I decided that I needed to work on pinning outfits and looks my husband liked, in order to find a common theme and identify the look I was going for—just like The Tiny Twig suggests.
Not to go out and buy a whole new wardrobe, I reassured my husband. Just to know how to make the pieces I already had work better, how to add that bit of pizzazz to my look so I’d feel more fashionable and less frumpy. To become a better steward of my wardrobe by simplifying. To feel confident in my outfits so I wouldn’t be selfish by feeling self-conscious about my clothes when I should be focusing on the people I’m with. And, of course, to know whether I should buy that shirt at GoodWill or not next time I’m shopping without him.
I asked him what catalog he’d like to see me dressing out of the pages of, and that was an easy answer: Eddie Bauer. (No surprise, considering the man has been dressing in Eddie Bauer t-shirts almost as long as I’ve known him.)
What kind of outfits did he like? Sun dresses. (At this point I reminded him of all the snow on the ground.) Jeans. Classic sweaters. Button-up shirts.
What look did he like? What would he want to describe my wardrobe? Classic country. English countryside. Simple, elegant, understated. (Can you tell I married a man who appreciates timeless classics in clothes as well as in the antique furniture he sells?)
And then he made a brilliant statement about how it’s better to spend less and look more elegant by dressing simply, rather than trying to dress trendy and ending up looking cheap and flashy. (He could totally write a fashion blog, don’t ya think?)
So I’m planning to spend some time on Pinterest with him this winter, pinning favorite outfit ideas from places like Eddie Bauer and L.L. Bean. Then I’ll be going through the closet to eliminate what doesn’t go along with whatever exact “look” we identify. (The question is whether to save that really cool leopard print skirt I’ve never worn, that I keep promising myself I’ll wear just for the sheer fun wildness of it…)
And I just might have to print out my Pinterest board for help when I’m next at GoodWill.
How about you? Do you know how to describe your wardrobe look? Do you have way too many items you never wear because you don’t feel good in them? Do you “spring clean” your closet with the change of each season? And, um, have you seen any Pinterest boards lately that cater to the fashions of a down-to-earth farmer’s wife looking for classic, simple, and timeless wardrobe ideas?
Ah, clothes aren’t easy, are they? =) I love that you ask your husband about what clothes to wear, I do that too (and my husband does have a sense of good style, though, I’d probably ask him either way, since he’s the one I dress up for…) =)
I always open my closet with the INTENTION of spring (or fall or summer, or whatever it is) clean, but I always decide that if I just follow my new exercise plan, I can probably fit into a smaller size by summer (or winter or fall…) and so I should save my clothes that don’t look all that good, and rather buy more in the smaller size. So I end up having to throw away clothes because they’re so worn out (from never being changed out due to said exercise plan) that they can’t be worn in public…
I’m afraid I haven’t seen such a pinterest board, but if I do, I certainly will tell you asap =) and why don’t you tell me if you see one with non-wearing shrinkable-to-fit-with-or-without-exercise-clothes?
Those “shrinkable-to-fit-with-or-without-exercise-clothes” sound like they could be the new fashion rage. If only they existed.
And as to the exercise plan? Oh yes. I’m right there with you. Especially knowing I have a bridesmaid dress to wear in the near future…
In case I DO find some of these amazing shrinkable-to-fit-with-or-without-exercise-clothes
(who knows, perhaps they even come in bridesmaid-dress-style?),
could I have an invite to Pinterest? =)
My wardrobe is by no means perfect but I am pretty satisfied with it. There are too many items and I could use to do a little purging, but I can easily and quickly find an outfit that I like to wear for any kind of day or occasion. I haven’t really had to try very hard at this so my ideas might not work for you, but here they are anyway. First of all I try to wear clothes that my husband likes. For me that means predominately skirts and classic styles. Secondly, I wear outfits I like. If my husband likes it and I like it that is good enough.
Third, I have pretty well defined likes and dislikes in clothing (ok, I’ll just admit it, in everything, not just clothing). So when I shop (which is mostly at thrift stores)I try to stick to items I know I like. I also try to get rid of anything from my closet that I don’t like. That way every thing I have is something I like. The same goes for clothes that don’t fit. If I want to keep something that doesn’t fit right now, such as maternity clothes, or even summer clothes in the winter I pack them in a box and put them away until needed, that way there is less clutter to go through when dressing in the morning. And lastly, I try to make sure there are lots of items that coordinate with each other. So again when shopping I keep in mind what I already have in my closet and try not to buy anything that won’t go with at least one item preferably two. I also like to have some basic items in neutral colors that match anything.
So these are my “rules”. I do not always follow them exactly. Sometimes I see something that I think is cute but don’t know for sure if I like it or if it is me, but I go ahead and buy it. In those cases I try not to spend very much or make sure I can return it. If I find something that doesn’t match what I already have then I try to find something to go with it at the same time. If I can’t then usually I won’t buy it unless I just love the item.
Hopefully this wasn’t too jumbled. I looked at the capsule wardrobe over at the Tiny Twig. I loved the idea and the tips, but like you I didn’t care for the actual styles. But I wouldn’t write it off completely. It could be a good staring place. I think it would be fun to look at each piece in the wardrobe, decide what its purpose is and then replace it with something this more my own style. It might work.
Great points, Celeste! I agree on wearing outfits that both myself and my husband like. Even when I think I like something, I suddenly like it much less if I find out he doesn’t like it–and rarely wear it if I end up keeping it. So the goal now is to find out which kind of items we can both like!
Also? You always look so cute and feminine. And I love the outfits you’ve sewn, too!
I *SO* needed to read this! I did the exact same thing as you did…started reading the Tiny Twig’s fashion stuff and then tossed it aside because her style was definitely not “me”. But you helped to put it in perspective…and had some great ideas. Because yeah…once upon a time I had a great style I loved…but then I had two babies in two years and none of those clothes fit me anymore…and I just don’t look the same (though thankfully my husband loves how I look!
). 
Anyway…I’m really exhausted now, but I think after I get some sleep, I’ll discover that you’ve inspired me to do the same with my wardrobe and husband… 
You’ll definitely have to share what you find with your search. 
HUGS
It would seem that I’m not the only one in a wardrobe slump.
I’ll have to share some more of the things I’m identifying/discovering about my wardrobe. 
What do I have? A jumble of this-and-that. Five years ago, it was like I had to learn to be a new person, in a style/fashion sense (well, in most senses…but we’re not going down that rabbit trail here…), since what I wore in Japan made me stick out like a sore thumb here…and I’m still trying to figure out what I really want to be wearing. I would love to do a major purge and get rid of the mounds of stuff I bought right after we moved here that I don’t wear very often because a lot of that stuff reads “missionary in Japan” but at the same time, I’m afraid to get rid of a lot since #1, I did pay good money for it, and #2 I don’t have the money right now to replace anything with pieces that are more in keeping with my current personal style. So…right now I feel like I’m in a holding pattern, and just reminding myself to be content with what I have and that this is only a season. (You know you have low expectations when you can’t wait for the day that you can afford to shop at the thrift store 1/2 price day again…hahahaha…)
I saw the wardrobe manifesto at The Tiny Twig, too, and thought it was a great jumping off point for whenever I have money again
. Granted, there were few pieces in it that I would wear personally (I know she said every woman should have a shirt with narrow horizontal stripes, but horizontal stripes in any form make me look at least five years younger than I already do…and considering that most people think I’m 16 or 18…I’m trying to avoid going in the 11 or 12 direction…ahem…). That being said, I love the idea of having a set of essentials, staples, and finishers. Have your basics that go under anything and everything. Then have the pieces that go over them in the colors and styles you like. Then have outer garments that go with the previous two categories. That would be the ideal for me. I am slowly developing a sense of the kinds of things I like…of course, I don’t have a husband’s opinion to rely on 
, and my family thinks a lot of what I like is pretty ridiculous, but figuring out your style is a process. I honestly think you are well on your way to figuring yours out. Mine was a combination of watching copious episodes of “What Not to Wear” on TLC (back in the day when I actually had time to watch TV!) and just trying on tons and tons of stuff. After awhile, I just started to understand what would look good on my figure (what there is of it…ha), and that really dictates the shapes of clothes that I look for, and I’ve always had a strong sense of the colors I like to wear.
Mostly, I’ve learned not to freak out about what I wear. Sometimes it’s hard, because when you’re in a group of other women who have perfect figures and are wearing the cutest outfits with adorably coordinated jewelry and there I am in a linen skirt and black tee, it’s hard to not feel…well…homely. But I’m learning to let that go. Right now, it’s simply a matter of finances and knowing my boundaries. Finishing school debt-free is more important to me than being in style. For another thing, I am coming to accept that I will never be truly “trendy” because I don’t have the figure for it, and I am honestly becoming less and less concerned with fitting in and being “in style” because I know I will never really fit in anywhere. For me, it comes down to being comfortable with who I am. It’s like…”April, you are who you are. Stop trying to fight it.” Yes, I want to “fit in” to a degree (or at least not stick out!), but at the same time I know I’m never going to look like an Anthropologie or J.Crew model. And I’m learning to be okay with that.
(Like, woah. That was, like, really long.)
(Well, we love you wordy, too.
)
Did you know I love you and your frugal fashion sense?
Seriously. You could write a fashion blog.
And I’m coming more and more to the point where I’m realizing I’m not going to be the fashionable one in the crowd…and I’m going to be okay with that… Because classic looks rarely stand out like the trendy ones do, but we’ll still be in style in five years and won’t have to replace our wardrobe when the fashions change, right?!
The trouble is that I did have a good sense of the colors I thought I should wear–and then my husband turned those upside down. He loved me in pink and in blue, two colors I never wore (but bought a lot of when I found out he liked them). Then when I finally bought a purple shirt again (after an unnamed person telling me it made my hair look purple, whereupon I purged all purple items from my wardrobe), I started getting tons of compliments on that color. But the colors I thought were me? Orange, yellow, peach, etc.? They aren’t my hubby’s favorite. So, it’s a learning process.
Meanwhile, I’m thankful there are people who appreciate the hand-me-downs I get rid of… And for the abundance of thrift stores and consignment shops I have near me and near my parents’ when I visit!
Here’s to a thrifting experience together one of these years…!
Check out http://www.missussmartypants.com — it really helped me when I felt in a fashion slump. I took the body type test, and I even subscribed for several seasons. But you can also just read her free weekly “MSP Chatter” newsletters if you sign up for them via email. (BTW, Missus Smarty Pants is the sister of the Fly Lady at http://www.flylady.net!)
Thanks, Mom, I signed up for the free email newsletter!
I’m so glad I was scrolling down through the comments and found this one from your mom! I was just going to ask you to put out a request encouraging us “younger grandmothers” and where ladies in my age group find nice classic clothes. If I’m buying new, I have had good luck on the clearance racks at C.J. Banks in Eugene. Most of the stores in the malls seem to cater to the teenager group. We do now have a Cabela’s in Springfield and I find some nice things occasionally but they don’t have a big ladies section in this store but their catalog is great.
Gretchen, I really like this post and the whole idea behind the series! Soooo, could you invite me to Pinterest????
Of course! Done.
My wardrobe is a pretty big joke too. I have no idea how to dress. Unfortunately what I like is not what looks good on me. I’m still wearing some of the same t-shirts and sweaters I wore in high school. Maybe once this season of having children and little ones I might buy some new clothes
I read the same set of posts after I saw your link on FB. And I went through much of the same thought process! But I thought she had some great ideas, even if her examples weren’t exactly “me”. I grew up around Eddie Bauer and LL Bean-type clothes too, and so I tend to be more of a “classic” dresser with extra feminine accents at times (like pearls…I love me some (fake) pearls…
)
I have gone through a lot of wardrobe-assessing and re-organizing (umm, pretty much every time I get pregnant or have a new baby or am no longer nursing… :-/) and I think I’ve finally come up with a “system” that might actually work for me…we are still trying it out. I came up with a couple neutral colors, denim, and three or four “fun” colors–and I’m trying to work my wardrobe around those. My goal is to be able to pull just about any two pieces out of my closet in the dark, and have them work together.
I wish you lived closer–I would have so much fun going thrifting with a fellow red-head!! And it sounds like we like many of the same styles.
Love this idea!
And seriously, we need a thrifters get-together or something.
Wow, someone in the same boat as me – and I thought I was the strangest, most fashion challenged person on earth and no one else out there had the same problem. How nice to hear I’m not alone!
I want to be fashionable and dress nice, but everytime I do I come off looking silly. I follow you on Pinterest so I’ll be interested to see the boards you come up with in the future – maybe I’ll learn something!
Thanks!
ah. the wardrobe. *sigh*
I was always a simple, simple girl. I wore clothes that were comfortable and easy. Jeans. Jean skirts. Hooded sweatshirts. (And crazy earrings for a bit of pizzazz.)
And married a man who goes crazy when I wear tights and high heels.
Know any place to get really comfortable high heels?