counting gifts in the waiting rooms of life

Ann Voskamp’s book is the kind to have in your purse when you go to the doctor.

One Thousand Gifts is the kind of book to keep open in your lap in the hospital waiting room.

Even when you can’t absorb it all, the words of truth, of hope, of thankfulness keep jumping out at you.

Even when you don’t understand what God is doing, you are reminded that He does.

Even when the doctor finds the beginning signs of toxemia and you are afraid your fears of going down the road of bedrest and induction once again are being realized.

…stress stands in direct opposition to what He directly, tenderly commands: “Do not let your hearts be troubled.  Trust in God; trust also in me.”  …Trust, it’s the antithesis of stress. (One Thousand Gifts, pg. 146)

Even when the ultrasound tech says the baby’s lungs need at least another week and you know if your own symptoms get worse you might have to be induced sooner.

Stress and anxiety seem easier.  Easier to let the mind run wild with the worry than to exercise discipline, to reign her in, slip the blinders on and train her to walk steady in certain assurance, not spooked by the specters looming ahead.  Are stress and worry evidences of a soul too lazy, too undisciplined, to keep gaze fixed on God? …Stress brings no joy. (147)

Even when you realize that helicopter you just saw is taking a newborn baby to a bigger hospital and the fear grips your heart knowing how easily it could be your own.

Every time fear freezes and worry writhes, every time I surrender to stress, aren’t I advertising the unreliability of God?  That I really don’t believe?  (151)

Even when the contractions are so strong you are sure you’ll never get another good night’s sleep.

Count blessings and discover Who can be counted on. (151)

So in the dark late at night, I count.  In the endless minutes and hours in the waiting rooms and during non-stress tests, I read.

And it redirects my gaze from the monitors and the calculations and the tests, focuses my gaze on Him.

I remember Who sees the sparrow fall.  I concentrate on trusting in the One Who formed this little one within me.

And I laugh at the irony that worry only brings stress which only makes my blood pressure go even higher.  So if I were really worried enough, wouldn’t I stop worrying and start trusting?

…if I’m grateful to the Bridge Builder for the crossing of a million strong bridges, thankful for a million faithful moments, my life speaks my beliefs and I trust Him again… (151)

159. An otherwise empty waiting room meaning I can turn off the TV without apology.

160. Such an active little one that kicks the monitors off my tummy.

161. Watching the baby’s heart rate go up and down just like it’s supposed to with activity.

162. An opening within hours for an ultrasound so I don’t have to come back another day.

163. $5 footlongs at Subway.

164. Cold, clear water—even 24 ounces of it in half an hour.

165. Seeing my little one kicking on the screen.

166. Being told I am having a “Very Active Child.”

167. Finding out that the baby’s growth is showing it to be further along than I thought.

168. A new ultrasound profile picture to add to our collection.

169. Long naps.

170. Giving the girls lessons on feeding their dollies with bottles and burping them (pat the head or the back? it gets a little confusing).

171. Going to church on Sunday—even if I had to go to the nursery to rest my head and feet.

172. My 19-month-old constantly wanting to pull up my shirt so she can talk to Baby.

173. A man who does all the dishes without ever complaining.

174. Really dark chocolate (my only caffeine at the moment).

175. Seeing the girls’ renewed interest in dollies now that we’re going to have a new baby.

176. Watching my girls watch the “Signing Time” DVD’s and mimicking every sign.

177. A bowl of Haagen Daz ice cream finally stopping the contractions so I could get a good night’s sleep.

178. A husband who drives me to doctor’s appointments when he can tell I need him along.

179. A Monday morning doctor’s appointment revealing lower blood pressure and normal test results from all that blood work, meaning no toxemia or induction yet!

180. One Thousand Gifts to convict and redefine my definitions of worry and trust.  (And was it any accident I was on chapter 8?)

Trust is the bridge from yesterday to tomorrow, built with planks of thanks.  Remembering frames up gratitude.  Gratitude lays out the planks of trust.  I can walk the planks—from known to unknown—and know: He holds. (152)

P.S. Thank you all so much for your prayers!  I’m taking it easy and watching spring arrive outside my windows.  I’m relishing the rest and the quiet.  I’m watching my girls at play instead of looking at the dust.  I’m resisting the urge to schedule posts ahead, so if it goes quiet around here, perhaps you’ll keep us at the Little Pink House a bit extra in your prayers?  I’ll do my best to post any important updates on Twitter.  For now, I’m focusing on resting and letting this baby grow as big as it needs to be—and so very grateful that, at this point, we can just wait for it to come of its own accord.

(Just found another giveaway for Ann’s book One Thousand Gifts—be sure to enter if you don’t already own it!)